MOTHER - GODLY OR WORDLY
All of us have been brought up by parents or brought up by an aunt, grandparent, older sibling or a totally stranger that becomes their parent, what is a parent? does anyone know how to be a parent or is it just a journey that you learn with time; however as we all kno, some have experienced some good things and some experienced damaging things. I would like us to consider whether you deem yourself a godly mother or a wordly mother.
Let’s see what the bible says about mothers:
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
Whatever your background – please take a look at yourself and I myself, and ask the question…. Am I strong and is that the strength my child or children see? Are my words kind and do I talk to my children in kindness and firmness? Are my children glad I am their mother or do they resent even talking to me and receiving my love?
As a child, all children look up to their father and mother as role models until, something happens. Are you terrorising your children or building up your children? Are you nurturing your children or maturing them too fast so they become your psychological carers of picking you up when you are constantly falling down? Are you allowing them growth, direction and correction to build their fragile characters or are you constantly shouting at them for what you expect and not what they are expecting from you to be their parent.
Most parents work and I know what is like to be bone tired and still making time. I still have a duty when I get home to get the dinner going, talking to my husband and listening to him and loving him and being a mother to my daughter, yes it’s not easy especially after a long day, but that is not an excuse for them to be scared of me coming home and now knowing if I am in a good mood or a bad mood. Why should they suffer for the day I have had. Yes, we do get too tired and frustrated but does that impact on my destroying those that love me? Selah!
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
I see the godly growth in my husband’s son and know how pleased and blessed he feels that he is forwarding the kingdom of GOD and more so, knowing that his mom would have been so, very proud of him at all times but especially more now at this moment in time. Just because kids don’t become how you imagined, doesn’t mean that your prayers over them, your building of their character in them from childhood and their own decisions of living their adult life is wrong. It’s their decision, but more so, as parents, having handed it to GOD, it is GOD’s responsibility to meet them where they are. I know we have been and done things we don’t share with our children, and children as adults do things they don’t share with their parents, but are we going to respond in a worldy way and shun them or in a godly way and correct them but love them? It is so very hard to love children because we want to protect them but correcting them will save their lives!
“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
For God commanded, ‘Honour your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” he need not honour his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.
I can’t speak for mothers with more than one child as I have, but as I have married my husband I do in my heart love my husband’s children as my own whether they do or not. Not for anything acknowledgement or anything but for the fact that I see a father’s heart for them and the love he has for them. He has seen the best in the them and the not so good, but that doesn’t stop him loving them.
When the (Luke 15: 11-32)) prodigal son was far off the father saw his son and went running to him and embraced him, clothed him and took him in. One of Adrian’s son who hasn’t been to church for a while came the other week and I know how much my husband loved that his son was coming into the presence of GOD to learn to be a man, it doesn’t mean the son knows everything in one visit to Church, it will be a journey of ups and downs. As patient as GOD is with us when we keep getting it wrong, surely our endurance and compassion should be extended to our children to do the same. How will they learn though….. by example of their parents, doesn’t mean we allow disrespect.
My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching.
My husband always shares that is not a coincidence that his son or his late wife were the godly people by chance, it was my husband being the man of GOD and the encouragement and nurturing that he showed his family that is within the children. Like many others in this church, it is not by chance that their children are showing growth, it’s by the hard work, love and patience each and every parent have given to their children to become who they should be.
“Honour your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise)
For God commanded, ‘Honour your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” he need not honuor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.
As husband and wife, if the wife is bestowing love, care and attention and the building up of her husband the children will respect their mother and father for the love and compassion they have with each other. They will see how a marriage should be. If couples destroy each other with words and actions, the children will follow suit and be disrespectful to their parents and others.
In the old Testament Lev 20:9 For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. Why you think they said this…. Because the sin within the child would not change because JESUS had not died for us the Holy Spirit could not convict us of sin. Rebellion is akin to witchcraft, therefore if one child was allowed to behave like this, this rebellion would have spread to the other children. Then chaos would have ensued.
Likewise, if you follow all sorts of traditions and are not being normal with your children, you are going to confuse them. Yes, teach them Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny aren’t real but are you going to stop them being friends with other children? Why would you do that. When you grew up, didn’t you make friends with other children, what makes it different now. Your child should be the godly child that by their character other children will also learn what is right and what is wrong. Us and our children are examples of JESUS to the world. Don’t let tradition or your own thinking stop them growing, building and reaching others on how you expect things to happen. You are NOT GOD, you are your children’s guardians. Yes protect them from the bullies, enable them to strong to stand up to them, give them the tools to be strong, vibrant individuals. Whole where you were not as children.
If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.
“Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death.
Children should also know the importance of honouring parents, godly parents. You as children may think just because your godly parents don’t hear you cussing, destroying them with your words but GOD hears, HE hears everything. What is worth you destroying yourselves just because you rebel and can’t and won’t take direction. Surely your life is more important to GOD and yourself and your parents want you alive also. However much you may dislike, hate your parents, your parents will always love you even when they can’t like you.
Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.
When I was living with my parents, and my sister (whom not many of us got on with) came over, I know it didn’t bring my mom any joy to see her, because of her character, her control, her lack of respect. Obviously she’s my sister and I could tell her how I felt most of the time if she antagonised me, but my mom and dad got in with it. However, the relief I saw within them when she left was immense. I vowed that I wouldn’t want to be the child that my parents felt like that if I ever visited. I know my situation with my parents is different and although I love them, they are unable to love me as a daughter because of their intense love for my brother, which is fine and I’ve accepted that. That’s why I stay away and let them enjoy his love.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
My daughter is a young lady now and she has done things that I had not had the courage to do like, leave home and go to Life Church Academy. I was proud of her to make that transition and I know the experiences the good and the bad she has experienced have changed her from the confident child that left to the not so confident young lady. As a mother I can’t help her hurting, but I can help her grow in GOD and confidence and remind, encourage and show her that GOD loves her more and that if she builds her relationship with HIM then everything will slowly fall into place as she takes her position of authority that JESUS left within her when she accepted HIM as her LORD and SAVIOUR to show HIM. This won’t grow unless I help her. Children don’t want you to keep telling them, they along with us adults, need to be shown, stop talking at your children and show them. When your child was a little baby you as parents, helped them learn to walk, why should showing them about GOD be any different, how will they learn.
Children will learn from their parents as they grow in GOD. They will always copy what you do. Be the example, the godly example. Talk to them and not AT them.
But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Everyone has to come to this journey on their own. We all know that we don’t all get on with our own families and sometimes we have to distance ourselves and in some cases we stop communicating and talking because it just damages us. I can only talk for myself I talk to one of my siblings and I can’t say it is a strong relationship they dip in and out of my life when they have time; which is fine. However, when we can’t have a relationship with our families GOD does bring others to fulfil that role, even if it is for a very short time.
I know I am Nanny Mandy to my husband grandsons; they love me and I love them dearly. I am the only Nanny they know and this won’t change, I know I’m not his son’s natural mother, but I love him and my heart does swell with emotion hearing him grow in GOD and learn and share and furthering the kingdom of GOD. GOD brings relationships through people who may not naturally be anything to us but to GOD, they are the people that will be who we need. My daughter is not my husband’s natural daughter but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her like she is. He does and in fact, don’t know how but she has his character traits which astounds me.
Don’t push people away just because they are not labelled family, family are those that love you for you.
Matthew 10:37Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
GOD wants us to have no idol, and if we are putting our husband, or children above HIM then they are our idols. GOD must come first in our lives, and despite my attempts – a woman’s excuse is finding the time to juggle everything. When do I make time? How do I make time? I will share further on this as I learn.
But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. ...
Being a wife, and mother is not an easy job and we don’t always get things right. When I came to my church as a young Christian there was only the Pastor’s wife who impressed me more than others for she had words of life. She shared her learning as a mother, as a wife and as a friend.
I want to be the best mom and the best wife but most importantly I want to be the best Child of GOD I can be for my GOD. My growth as a whole woman will only come as I study, as I talk to my JESUS as I learn to grow, one step more though. My encouragement to help my husband to be the man of GOD and encouraging him and loving him my growth will come quicker because GOD’s law is of order and the man is the Head of the Household. For many women who are alone and have to be the Head of their own households, I have been that woman for 10 years before I met my husband and it’s not easy but not impossible. Keep focussed, trust JESUS above anything or anyone, your strength in HIM will help with your children, your life and your future. Let’s pray for mothers who work so hard because they have to do more with less time. Ask GOD to show them a way for ther not have to work so much, or maybe not at all. Pray for her to be free from the paralyzing burden of condemnation.
Let’s grow together…..in JESUS mighty name